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Matthew Arrives













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just finished hot chocolate

November 7, 1996, Thursday

The day starts as normal as the one before, with frustration and eagerness. So far I've had two bouts of false "twinges." I've been so eager to have this baby, I feel like I've been pregnant forever. I'm having more discomfort than when I was pregnant with Paul. Probably due the difference in seasons, and having to dress warmly this time around (not to mention having two pregnancies within two years.) As the morning progresses, I begin to have the tightenings again, only this time they are down low and I can feel them in my sacrum. They are five minutes apart and 30 to 50 seconds long. After lunch they continue. Feeling anxious, I call my doula, Nadine. I refrain from calling Sara, my midwife, not wanting to put her on another false alert. Twice was enough. Nadine arrives and I'm glad for it.

We go for a walk in search of black and white film, we end up with 7-Eleven hot chocolate and endure a cold wind during our walk back to my home. Both Nadine's company and the hot chocolate are soothing. The contractions have slowed by the time we get home. After chatting for awhile Nadine heads home, leaving me with encouraging words. Patrick calls into work and cancels to sit and wait with me. We settle down to more hot chocolate, my contractions have completely stopped. The thought of going past my due date is disheartening. I comfort myself by appreciating one more night alone with my husband and possibly more days of Paul not having to share me with anyone. I go to bed at 2300 hours.




























0430 hours, Friday morning

Slowly I awake from my sleep. I can sense my legs moving, kicking, and something else. A strong groin pulling, stabbing sensation. It abates. I'm fully awake now. I wait. Another one hits, and I think "I remember this!" After it goes away I wake Patrick. We are timing them at nine minutes apart and lasting 60 seconds. At 0530 hours I call Nadine. I feel foolish having thought my previous episodes of tightenings were labor pains. There is no mistaking what is happening now. Patrick continues to time the contractions, which are now five minutes apart and lasting 45 to 60 seconds. We make coffee. I call Sara, "It's time."

Paul awakens and cuddles with Patrick on the couch. He looks on quizzically while I have my contractions. Between the contractions, I finish packing Paul's bag for when he goes next door to his aunt's place. Nadine arrives shortly after I call Sara. I can see that she is excited for me (having known my frustration of the day before). A contraction makes me fall to a hands and knees position as she enters the door. She rushes to me with tender hands, massaging my back. The contraction feels wonderful. Patrick and Paul look on. Up on my feet again, I inform Nadine of the morning's events. We then head for the bedroom to ready the cameras and video equipment. We make the bed with me occasionally hopping on to have a contraction. I'm so happy and excited. We take prego belly pictures.

0630 hours (approximately, I've begun to lose track of time)

Sara and Lisa, the student midwife, arrive and begin to set up. My contractions are now three minutes apart and remaining at 60 seconds long. I've begun to chant through them, "strong body, strong mind, strong baby." It helps me to focus. With each contraction, Nadine lays a gentle hand on my back, letting me know that she is there to help me, to support me, to encourage me. Up until now Patrick has been helping Sara and Lisa set up. I'm only aware of them in the kitchen. I don't want to leave the bedroom. Patrick takes Paul to his aunt's house. Eventually we are all in the bedroom. I'm very consumed by my contractions, but clear minded between. I'm very chatty between as well, only pausing to have my contraction and hardly missing a word when I finish. This fact draws a laugh from my birth team. I sit with my back to Patrick's back, pressing against it during contractions, which have gotten very strong. Sara and Lisa have marked points on my lower legs that they press on when I have a contraction, it helps to divert my focus away from the discomfort of the contraction itself. Lisa takes pictures. All of a sudden things change. When the next contraction hits I roll over to a semi hands and knees position, a groan escapes my lips. The term "labor song" flashes through my mind. My song has begun. From this point on there is no more chatter. I concentrate on resting between. During the contractions I try to continue my chant, but all I can manage are the low moaning sounds. The moaning helps a great deal and whenever I get too high pitched Sara and Lisa encourage me from the hazy back- ground to "stay low." I remain in a hands and knees position throughout the labor. I try at one point to labor on my side. No go. Too painful. It feels better to have my belly hanging and rocking back and forth. I am aware of my birth team surrounding me. I feel safe. I equate it to a trust circle. No matter which way I turn there is someone there to catch me. During one contraction, I look up and face my strong and loving husband. Throughout the contraction I keep repeating "I love you." I want him to know that I do this only for him. It is an extension of our vows of love and commitment that we made on our wedding day.

This is my favorite picture of the whole birth
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I call it Labor Land....





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My doula takes belly pics

midwives and me
Baby gets a check up......

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Here it comes.........relaxing into it.....

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Okay.........THAT one HURT!

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blowing it away.....strong baby, strong body, strong mind...........

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Hubby never leaves my side.



























































I ask to be checked, curious to know the progress thus far. Being examined hurts, I pull away stating that I'm not that curious. More and more the contractions consume me, and I no longer want to be touched. Sara gives me some "rescue remedy," (a Bach Flower Remedy...NOT a drug/narcotic) it works to get me through the next few contractions. I've lost track of time, though I do know that daylight has arrived. I try to rest between, at one point crying for the loss of my mom and wishing that I had my sister there to help me through the overwhelming pain. Sara eventually does another check and finds me at seven centimeters (my medical backgound brain cries out at the thought of another three hours of this! oh how far I have come in knowing the true power of birth!), she encourages me to try the shower. I'm reluctant to leave the room, but I trust her and so we head for the bathroom. A birthing stool has been placed in the tub, I drape myself over it while on my knees. I overhear Sara stating that "nothing is going to get her out of that position." And she is right, my motto at this point is "if it feels good do it." Patrick is using the shower on my lower back. The flowing water feels good, the change feels good. I'm beginning to get frustrated with the pain, and remember how good it felt to push when I had Paul, I try to push with the next contraction. No go, it's not time. But two contractions later has me with the urge to push, so I do. I can feel the baby's head move down the birth canal. It's a wonderful feeling. I rest, mind clearing. Then pushing again. My waters burst and the pushing sensation increases. I blurt out, " THE BABY IS COMING!"

My team help me out of the shower, so I can sit on the toilet (the last push had caused me to move my bowels and I wanted to ensure the job was finished before going back on the bed). Sara checks me. I can feel the baby's head coming down fast with each push. We all head for the bedroom. I get on the bed, my head landing on Patrick's lap. My mind is racing, thinking about how close this ordeal is to being over. This thought gives me the strength to continue. I'm vaguely aware of Nadine taking video. The next few contractions catch me i~ a side lying position, which doesn't help. Everybody helps me into a semi-sitting position (a position chosen by me as most comfortable at the time), propped up by pillows and with Patrick behind me, it feels just right. After this the next couple of pushes brings the baby's head out. When this happens I scream from the burning sensation. It feels good to scream.

Sara is by my side, encouraging me, letting me know that I can rest before the shoulders come. A moment later, I have to push, bringing back the burning and my scream (and once again it feels great!). I feel the rest of the baby being born, Sara saying "open your eyes, open your eyes!" I do and am greeted by my child, who is placed on my bare chest.






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Oh my Gosh....Oh my gosh!!! I did it! I did it!

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Wow! I really did do it!!!!

After the placenta is birthed....
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We cut the cord.......and see that we have A BOY!!

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Daddy holds his second boy while mom gets tidied up.

Matthew alexander gets weighed
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A nice warm scale for him.......8 lbs. 7 ozs...big boy!

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Big Brother joins us in welcoming our newest family member




























A beautiful baby is born at 0956 hours.

Nadine has captured this moment on video for us. Without event, my placenta is delivered five minutes later. Patrick and I cuddle and observe our child for awhile before investigating the baby's sex. To our delight we discover that the Lord has blessed us with another son.

After everything on the bed is cleaned up and our Matthew Alexander is settled onto the breast, everybody heads to the kitchen for a wonderful borscht lunch. Nadine leaves shortly after with hugs and much praise to me and my son. After showering, I went to have lunch with the others, relishing the deep red soup.

I found it a wonderful experience being able to wander around my home so soon after the birth, not having to cover up and seek the privacy that is so lacking in the hospital. I felt like a queen in her castle. Sara and Lisa left around 1300 hours after ensuring I was settled down to rest, leaving Patrick and I in the glory that accompanies the bringing forth of new life.

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Dady poses with Matt
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24 hours after drinking hot chocolate....I hold my new son.